I finally came to a decision about my blog. My website is still in the works, and in all honesty, I decided that I had a lot to say to the world.. Take it, leave it - Love it, hate it. I am not going anywhere.


I recently embarked on a search. I came to Arizona with one goal in mind and no particular plan. I find myself out of work, by choice, as it has always been. I always seem to search for a particular something. And it is not because I am lost; it is not because I have no direction. But, simply, it is because I cannot help but yearn for more in this life. In so many instances my arrival was heralded and my departure prolonged, still, I have often been unseen in who I am and what I do. I can only hope that I am unforgettable in those efforts before I leave this earth. That really is my search.

2009 can definitely be described as my Annus mirabilis. And each year seems to get even more so. I am always on the move, ever changing and ever surprising. Some have accused me of using my constant evolutionary nature as an excuse to not make a finite decision and that I choose to live in a conundrum confusing to people. Laughable!

I have such absolute clarity about my dreams and goals, yet the path seems uncertain. I choose never to be disembodied from my life, but rather to be present and feel all of it. And it certainly is a tough road which I choose..

So the loss..


There are a number of things I have lost over the years

- Friends, love and family
- My hair
-weight (not for long lol)
- Money and position
- Respect

So I am thinking about some of the loss... some of them necessary and some of them I was unable to clutch onto despite all brutal effort on my part.

We all go through life trying never to lose anything we value. And yet, somehow we always do.. I have decided what defines THIS moment in my life, is what I decide will define this moment and what I identify as important. I purpose to have a more intimate dialogue with myself so that when more loss comes.. I can be grounded in this one thing... I am true to who I am. I did not bow to the opinions of people whether they are the masses or the voice of one. I have on many occasions leveled the basic landscape of my life in order to start a fresh all the time. But this year, I nod to the life I have as WELL as the one I want. To transcend all things mediocre and mortal. Draw from my own inner vault of beliefs, convictions and passion.

With all the change that I am always experiencing with circumstance and adventure, I realized - it is a time for a new change - ridding myself of the obsessive receptiveness to people's negative opinion.

The loss for this year.. Losing it.. more like throwing it away..

I inhale, exhale.. Until then, I cannot find that damn I don't give.... :)

I finally came to a decision about my blog. My website is still in the works, who knows how long that is going to take me to complete, and in all honesty, I decided that I had alot to say to the world.. Take it, leave it - Love it, hate it. I am not going anywhere.

I recently embarked on a search. I came to Arizona with one, very specific goal in mind and no particular plan. I find myself out of work, by choice, as it has always been. I always seem to search for a particular something. And it is not because I am lost, it is not because I have no direction. But, simply, it is because I cannot help but yearn for more in this life. In so many instances my arrival was heralded and my departure prolonged, still, I have often been unseen in who I am and what I do. I can only hope that I am unforgettable in those efforts before I leave this earth.

2009 can definitely be describes as my Annus mirabilis. And each year seems to get even more so. I am always on the move, ever changing and ever surprising. Some have accused me of using my nature as an excuse to not make a finite decision and live in a conundrum confusing people. Laughable!

The year 2010

Remember when it was the 80’s and the year 2010 came up in movies, everyone would be wearing strange, pointy metal outfits and flying around in cars that look like hot air balloons and we would have robots working for us….

So – here we are in the said year, and we are wearing the same clothes we wore in the 80’s - I am still doing my own laundry and the closest thing to a flying car that I have ever been in, is the race car in South Africa!  - So much for believing the movie people.


In December just before New Year, I spent a wonderful vacation time with my South African friends. We went to Vegas and LA and experienced all the joy and fun that one does in those parts! All the pics are attached, and I think they speak for themselves!

We saw a great variety show in Vegas, it was so entertaining and ofcourse, we ate like our lives depended on it!  Walks on the beach, dinners on Rodeo Drive, cocktails in the Lamboghini lounge.. what a nice vacation!!

Speaking of being a very random person and yet, a very specific person at the same time, I have been thinking about this New Year. What it means for me. What I want to do and accomplish this year with my life and with my soul, with the gifts and the brain I have been given. And I really feel like, I don’t want to waste any moments or opportunities. That is really the only concrete goal I have.

Going down the path of contemplation and inner reexamination yields an odd mixture of slight panic, insecurity and yet, remarkable peace and excitement for the things that have not yet taken place. I am very excited about starting my studies – I am a little disappointed that it will be through UNISA though. Not because there is anything wrong with UNISA. But I really wanted the experience of University and not just the task of it. I chose UNISA, because, well, it is about $200 cheaper per credit hour and since I am on a visa at the moment, I don’t get grants or financial aid for studies.. but nonetheless, I know they still offer a stellar education and so in I dive March 2010!


I am looking forward to some travels as well, but most of all, I am looking forward to making a big difference in the world. I have changed some ideas and thoughts about my life, what I do and who I am as a person. I have so many ideas and dreams and I plan vehemently things that roam around in my head, and it always seems that something interrupts my reverie. Not this year (and so said all of us!).

I have theories… I have thoughts…. I have ambitions.. everything about those are post-colonial, post-structural, political-liberationist-feminist hermeneutical, imaginative, contemporary, simplistic, cultural, complex, passionate, anti-consumerism (and the list goes on). But most of all – they are honest, undiluted and naked.


And I promise you – that will never change. I am moving from blogging to webbing (is that a word?)

I came to a point where I wanted to cave because of the critism of people because I so openly share my life "on-line"... and I wanted to shut off.. and stop sharing.. stop writing about me.  So, maybe I will ramble or maybe 2010 is the year Delise must be silent on the www. I don’t know yet. The universe will reveal my course to me.


But, however that goes.. I endeavor to be live and enjoy. I will sap life’s very last drop until mine is gone 